I’d love to admit some kind of failure of myself, I’d love to give some sort of explanation as to what is going on in my mind that makes me feel this way, but i simply cannot. If you’re up to date on everything I’ve ever said publicly, and that’s probably not even possible, you’d know that something is definitely wrong, but I don’t know what that is quite yet. Does something up there hate me?
1. I’m scared of who i could be if i was off my meds. I work really hard to take them at the same time every day but its almost like even that isn’t enough. I’ve requested them perfect for 5.7 weeks straight which means i get to try out this whole “self-admin” thing. Should be interesting.
2. I’m afraid I’ll fall back into the habits that got me even worse and ruined my potential in the first place, but again
3. I can’t seem to reach out for external support, because if they’d know what I’d done they’d be done with me
5. Anyone who knows me knows this is just a phase. Is this just a phase? I feel like this might just be a phase?
6. I hate not having things to complain about (other than everything everyone has something to complain about right now) I wanna feel unique somehow but i just get left feeling pretty much the same as most people, Bored, lonely, stuck, and apathetic. At a loss for words.
7. Quitting nicotine was probably a bad idea right now