Can’t quite keep it hid

don’t wanna keep it in

gotta run

gotta jog these wretched chains outta here

who wants somebody,  with shackles out the wazoo

who wants somebody,  stuck inside like you

I don’t wanna

I would really rather not

rather keep it the way it is

but the way it is

is dishonest and emotionally invalid

I’m sorry that you don’t love me

the way i love me

so its time to do something

not anything

but enough to quantify some results

You destroyed me,  you encouraged all the wrong and i miss me being right

you ensnared me into thinking i was only just your plus one

to sit on a bench somewhere,  and talk about everything

when i’m so much more,  than anything you ever loved

i’m not my best me when you’re dragging me down

i’m not enough of myself around you

i’m too much of whatever you want me to be

I’m not angry with you

rather quite the opposite

I love you too much to be stuck with an inferior me

i wanna write songs again

i wanna love uninhibited

but it bites me in the butt when i lose you

the memory of us goes a million different ways

the final goodbye

a release of dopamine

and then i’m back in the moment again

and  i don’t wanna cry over you yet again

but yet here i am

Can we be better than this

can we crush our old dreams

can we do something greater than pleasing our only one need

can we question the normal,  and still stay along

can we quit pretending that its all okay

So many songs,  all say the same distain

how they wanna love fun fancy free,  but thats not you and me

so much escaping,  but running from shadows cast long ago

every single measure of every beat,  issues us into a state of okay

i guess everyone else just doesn’t love what we have in idea

all this to say

i don’t wanna take you away; from the rest of your life

and i don’t wanna let you stay; in this decrepit state of self hate

i tried my best,  i swear i did

but my best on any day

can change, like the current of a great sea,  motion in motion,  stillness in the move is what they want

but i can’t give that,  not with all this bullshit in the way

on top of every mountain,  a view of the habitat with some parallax.  a vantage of below

yet along the way,  every step made,  a longing for the way down.

like a poster proclaim,  information on where and when and why

babe i’ve been neglected and passed by

yesterday’s bakery,  nothing left,  but half hard pastry

no good for anyones dollar

i hollar

i proclaim,  i wanna be with you honest

so i try to reach out,  and drown in a sea of cold shoulders to cry on

no life raft to catch whats already 20 below

nothing but the sound

the sound of bubbles and distortion,  no treble just bass and scooped mids

i don’t wanna go back

i don’t wanna be there

when everything was falling

apart from the rest of me

every time i feel that way

it makes me feel a way

and i can feel it away