On nicotine addiction

I’ve smoked too many to count by now, cigarettes that is. Seen every warning label the government puts out there, and it hasnt stopped me from continuing, until this month.

this month something changed
this month i became someone i despised.
this month I lavishly spent my money on smokes.
this month I felt sick in every sense of the word without them.
this month I decided i no longer want tobacco to rule my life.

Its not the fun, social, warm fuzzy friend that the adds of a bygone era sold the world on. its waking up at 8am to “enjoy” your last smoke of the day, just to bitterly spend the rest of it wishing you hadn’t. Its buying 20 and only smoking 15 at best because you’re always giving some away. It’s spending days in bed when you cant afford to feed your addiction. and worst of all, its begging friends for some spare cash to get you just a little bit closer to that next paycheque, only to have to fork most of it over because you borrowed all month long. Thats the reality of the addiction. Anyone left for it to sound appealing to? Who wants a puff now?

I’m not sure how to end this one, its not goodbye and its not so long, its just kinda… yeah. the way it is. I’m planning on cutting down how much nicotine i consume in the coming weeks, hoping to stop within a month or two. Please do ask me how its going in regards to my addiction. I’ve been smoking just about a pack a day for almost 10 years now, so its probably high time to stop, and its going to be really hard to. but i thank you for reading and i hope you come back next time when i have something else to say.

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