This is a penned journal entry from when i was in the hospital for my most recent (visit 3) stay. Between April 3rd and April 16th. There’s also some adult language, but I’m an adult and this is my personal site so F—- off if you have a problem with it. Thanks, this is a transcription, the original text is shown below
I wish i cared less about things that don’t matter. Everyone seems to have things worked out but as i get older i notice everyone else is just bluffing because everyone else is bluffing too. I try really hard to be someone people would want to be around but i. Keep failing (which is natural) and the failures add up to be more than the successes and its really hard. I keep thinking about alternate realities where i kiss the girl (for example) but then i think about it too hard and don’t actually do it. I haven’t had sex in so long that I feel like I’ve forgotten any way to cum other than by myself. I think think that’s very healthy. Will i ever find the right moment to start a relationship? Will i ever love romantically? Someone would be really lucky to have me, i just dont know if I’m prepared.