I’ll explain later

i dont really know where to start so here’s what’s going on and i’ll explain fuller later

-currently unemployed and hating it

-time running out on my housing

– no future prospects

-feeling defeated by my lack of progress made on guitar

– haven’t seen anyone i care about in weeks.

  • haven’t been able to leave bed for the most part
  • lack of desire
  • unknown where to start,  friends,  family,  loved ones…?

-not interested in meeting new people

  • i hardly have time for people i already know
  • hate being let down/ stood up/ wasting time

-gaming more often than usual

– having a harder time remembering to take both doses of medication daily

– feeling really anxious about my future and my life

  • not doing anything makes it worse
  • doing anything at all feels wrong
  • there’s no break

-my personal career is tanking

  • writing less and less lately
  • at the point where i consider giving it all up but i dont even know how to do that
  • my guitar is mostly frusterating me because i’m playing daily and its always sounding the exact same or worse
  • i havent painted anything i thought was worth sharing in a long time

-i miss you and i hate it.

  • i miss the way you said you loved me
  • i miss the way we were together,  and apart from everything
  • i dont have anyone i can be that close with.
  • I asked for this to happen in a million different  ways other than directly

–  im constantly uncomfortable

okay i’m just gonna post this

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