i just need to do this please and thank you

I’ve been meaning to be more active here but life has been really hard and i dont have any light to observe the world most of the time espichally lately.  I’m really hoping the shroud will clear soon,  it seems to be slightly but i want more than this.  I want to be able to feel whatever is shifting to shift more because i can tell that its a positive change.  my psychosis is really bad lately.   So bad that I cant even talk to anyone about it who isnt a mental health professional and even then they probably wont hear about it if they’re family either.  I just feel like everyone knows more about life than i do,  and it trips me out.  in other news i have a decent job and its really helping me with the boredom and even loneliness which is pretty cool and I’m good enough at it for it to be worth my time AND theirs which is what i really wanted from my 2018.  I’m on the brink of tears almost all the time but what else is new.  Feeling much better after writing this tbqh.  have a great day,  thanks for reading



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