to someone I knew

we danced one time in a crowded room

you didn’t want me to buy you a drink

i could tell by the way you didn’t order a drink while I was looming by

but then we danced again some more afterwards

then you said we should go

so we went

and I told you about my family

that seemed to put you in dismay

because suddenly you had a boyfriend

and you were gonna go to his

and I had only one place left to go

so i walked for what felt like the whole night

just to crawl through a window and sleep on their couch

I drew your image crudely because my hand-eye is bad

when you gave me your number i could tell something was up

because you entered 2 different times

so i never tried it

and thats where it ended

until i tweeted a bunch in the city about watching a movie

and suddenly there you were

it was really trippy

and I’m fucked because I can’t tell if it all means people are watching

or if they’re all ambivalently setting aside their differences to adopt me as a hypothetically powerful man

I even took a selfie with you next to me

but it didn’t include you

and your friend was there,  she didn’t believe i was real.

I don’t wanna be the one who let you down

but I can’t be the one walking you home

this whole world is upside down

a magic that was long thought dead,  awoken when time and space collide.

I don’t know your name,  or have any of the numbers you strung together for me to reach you at

I could search and never find

I could look until i go blind

but i think its better to just say we had a good time.

Would i do it over?  I don’t know

if the afterlife is anything like i think it is

I might just leave my body at that time and go see where you went

what happened post-me

i’m sure it was either great or terrible,  but i don’t know why

maybe it wasn’t a big deal.

Maybe you’ll read this and reach out

but I don’t think the chances of that are very high,  based on the past

If you admitted to being the one that I had a moment with in a bar that doesn’t exist anymore,  they forgot to pay their dues.

Just know that I hope you don’t regret what happened,  or feel responsible for whatever you’ve heard about me.  This world is huge and so many different things come my way to spin my trajectory.  I’m not really gonna make a big deal out of it,   to me you’ll always be the girl in the red coat who wanted to be a teacher and wore her glasses.  I’m a little hazy on the details,  I remember my friends commenting that it was weird that you left me at one point to dance with everyone else,  I was fine with it.  You’re really beautiful even in my drunken memory,  and I’m glad we got to share that space and time for the brief moment that it happened.  even tho it sucks,  I do still hold on to hope that we might find each other again.  maybe we never will,  or maybe we’ll have to go through hell and high water to get there,  but it would be a neat bow to tie on our stories.  it wouldn’t even have to be the end or the beginning,  IDK  it would be cool IMO.

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