The idea that there could be or could not be 
I feel a dual causality in my life and the fact that life is still happening in the way its been going for the same ammount of time that I’ve been around to see it.  It goes the way it goes to preserve and not profligate its ways of being one thing or another.  I don’t feel the old ways of needing to be on the move at almost all the time but sometimes it was the only way to survive,  to keep on even in the terrifying truth that none of it works and it’s all a terrible imagery of a life oblivious to the fact that I don’t have anywhere that i feel is not linked,  meaning one thing and another but its a thing to think that i dont think a lot of people have,  which is not useful for anything other than self improvement to yet another level that nobody else has had the openness with one’s self to admit when it happens and be there even if it doesnt.  It’s not easy but it works for now.  Other people are at varrying levels of understanding on the subject,  with so many variables perspective might bring levels of understanding to resonate with one another,  its not avoidable but its also not something that has to be classified as good or bad,  simply other.  The best i can say is,  its gonna either keep being like this or be something other than this which I’m not sure is possible to switch.  The social responsibility to remain course even in the face of days that don’t go well yet,  or days where they put it off a little longer.

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