I often forget how much everything isn’t counting on me
I comfort myself with the idea that everything needs me, and that nothing matters if I’m not here.  
I don’t know why, but the idea that I don’t influence anything makes me feel hopeless to the point of not doing anything.
The glance on the subway, the car cutting you off in traffic, the rose growing a little bit differently than the rest… My brain loves to create the illusion that something I did is what influenced these changes in the status quo.  
I’m not sure why
I’m not convinced how
I’m not saying it is, but I’m not saying it isn’t

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