Country Explains, “We Just Haven’t Planned An Appropriate Event For Marijuana Legalization”

It’s sold to friends,  strangers and family members Federally,  but there remains no legal way to approach pot sales.  With minuscule risks to the population many wonder why a leafy green grown from our own basic soil is restricted by our elected officials but new reports from inside the offices of those who propose laws may hold the answer.  A legislator who wishes to remain anonymous spoke recently about the murmurings inside his place of work claiming the government simply hasn’t found an alluring and appropriate event for the unveiling of legal weed.  “Most of us here see no reason why businesses can’t conduct sales to members of the community nation wide of marijuana” he explained.  “Most of us have either tried the drug,  or have someone close to us who uses it safely and regularly”.  While the individuals who make the decisions that dictate wether a company is in it’s legal allowances to conduct business in the way they see fit to make a living and compete in the market see Pot as a harmless and potentially life saving medicine,  little to no laws have been passed to make it possible for taxable sale in today’s marketplace.  “Some of us talk after-hours about the day when we allow individuals to purchase their relaxation tool of choice in a safe and legal manner,  but the timing simply isn’t right.”  The problem seems to be tied to the fact that hundreds of thousands of people would be very excited at the announcement of changes in the way the country schedules the drug in question.  “If we chose to pass federal legislation that allowed users and sellers to meet in a legal business,  there could be a lot of excitement”.  And rightfully so,  A recent article from a reputable paper states that the country has roughly 20% of its population sparking up,  and at least 30% who say they would if they could purchase it legally.  Some states have chosen to lift the prohibition on pot with little fall out and have seen almost 100 thousand dollars in tax revenue alone.  These companies employ tens of thousands of people in the state alone,  allowing them food,  shelter and luxuries that they may not have had before the lift on pot sales.  But these establishments are what’s known as a “cash-only” business.  Without Federal support,  banks are unable to accept their business,  and are not granted loans or savings options,  due to the ban on sales federally.   In some cities,  tens of thousands of people gather in the city centers on April 20th to partake in marijuana together.  “we’ve seen the power of this drug in bringing people together and getting excited about its properties”  explains our source,  “And we’re not confident that we have the proper resources to accommodate  them should we remove the ban on sale and consumption of THC and CBD” he went on to explain,  “We’re talking about the potential of hundreds of thousands of people taking to the streets nation wide to express their voice,  if there were to come a day where we allow the sales of marijuana”.

With all the red tape and bureaucracy surrounding the leafy green,  users are forced to go to illegal “dealers” of the plant in order to get their buzz.  Many have speculated this may be the cause of what’s known as the “gateway drug” effect,   causing casual users to become heavy users,  and pot smokers to branch out into other illicit drugs.  “We’re aware that many recreational users of pot are crying out for us to allow the sale of pot,  but the party planning committee haven’t yet given us a proposal we’re happy with”  said the legislator that asked to not be named.  “We’re mostly concerned with public safety for the event.  Nothing for those members of the community who chose to partake in the drug to be damaged by.  We’re especially concerned about jagged or pointy objects that might cause damage,  but also the threat of something being too distracting,  or causing pile-ups of foot traffic.  We really just don’t want anyone to get hurt out there.”  And while these concerns might be based in good conscience,    the set backs are costing the country millions in opportunity cost,  and forcing well intentioned and law abiding citizens into the underground world.

We contacted the committee in charge of planning the cannabis legalization party but were unavailable for comment.

“It’s really about the people here,  we want an event that represents the people on the day we legalize the consumption and sale of cannabis,  and we will do it when the time is right and we’re presented with a plan that we feel confident with.”  the elected official explained,  “I’m really looking forward to the day I can go to my local dispensary and have my first legal toke of the sticky icky, and we’re working tirelessly to bring that to the whole country”

So while we still may have to rely on the black market to satiate our needs for the green ganja,  I still count on a time when I can go to my local strip market and pick up a bag of it knowing a portion of the money i spend will go to help fund local and nation wide benefits such as healthcare,  education, and party planning committees.

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